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Repost -- 1997

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Mar. 11th, 2009 | 01:12 am
location: in my room
mood: awake
music: glycerine {bush}

Not sure why I locked this entry, but here it is in all it's glory...my pathetic attempt at being a writer again. :D

Aug. 12th, 2008 | 05:49 pm
My long lost love, my very first boyfriend, yesterday...

added me on MySpace.  

For the sake of this public journal we'll just call him J...because I have no imagination, don't know what else to call him, and am too lazy to go against the grain of this writer's format of calling people by their first initials.  So anyway, J was my obligatory first "everything" (well, not kiss, but everything else). We started dating the summer before 10th grade, so that's like what, almost 12 years ago? 

(Sidenote: I cannot, CANNOT believe I'm going to be 27 this year.)

We tried to maintain a connection of sorts thinking that there was this "special bond" that only WE had and that we might possibly be soul mates and find our path crossing again...or some crap like that. In reality, the keeping in touch only lasted for about 2 or 3 years after we broke up and then I moved on to college. Eventually, one day, the only contact I had with him was enduring a series of accidental drunken bumping into's at whatever asianish club was poppin at the time. 

After I moved to California, started my semi-adult life, shacked up with Jared....I never heard from him again 

So the strangest thing to me, believing myself to be an almost grown-up, is that after I received the add request on MySpace (how juvenile is this sounding? bad? really bad?) I just kept going back to his profile. Looking at it over and over again. Searching for what, though, I still don't get. Like ordering that last drink even though you just had a drink that made you kinda gag...you know its futile. Not because I was attracted to him still, not because there was something rekindled from the past, but because I don't know, I was just so overwhelmingly curious. 

Like wondering what he's like now.

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